just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize