would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
