I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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