yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
