Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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