Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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