in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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