I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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