K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
