Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
