Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
be right there i have to get my cape
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
