Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
