Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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