I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
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i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
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I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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