How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
