Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
