thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
