i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
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You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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