So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
