I have demons in me.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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