this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
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shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
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Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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