So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
