The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
