I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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