I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
