let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
