whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he told me I talked like a deaf person
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He felt like a one man threesome
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
