I have demons in me.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
