FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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