you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If that was your dad, he is hot
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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