Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you win again, gameday.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
