I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
