yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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