I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
