why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
