I think I died a long time ago.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
this hospital has no fireball
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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