i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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