Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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