Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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