My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize