All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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