It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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