Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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