I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
