I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
