hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
