...so i touched it.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
