does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
