I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
