maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
