So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
What a dumb baby whore.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
40s are totally the cure
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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