life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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