dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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