So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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