I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
