Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
