I smell stomach acid.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
