Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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