I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
