I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
