my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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