saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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