dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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