yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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